As I'm enjoying a typical Saturday in my blanket fort, I thought about this blog and it brings back a flood of memories.
If I were to meet myself as a teen, I would have cringed so hard till I turned into a tiny ball of nothing.
It's not to say that I should not have posted my thoughts and desires online. I honestly thought the internet was a safe place for me to confide the things I dare not say in real life (big spoiler: I was wrong). But dude, just reading all I posted I realized a few things:
1. I was a stalker
2. I had a victim mindset
3. I had poor self awarenesses
4. I was struggling with mental health and had no one to confide in, which led to a lot of poor choices.
At this point, I can hardly remember my childhood or teenage years because my main way to cope is to disassociate and to block out memories.
Although the past posts have been cringey as duck, I don't plan on deleting them because it keeps me grounded and helps me picture myself as this scrawley teen trying to figure out life.
I'll continue to post random thoughts here if anyone is still reading this 😌 hope all is well in your world.
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Life update:
- currently a CF-SLP (yay me!)
- really fat
- in a very healthy and loving ldr
If I were to meet myself as a teen, I would have cringed so hard till I turned into a tiny ball of nothing.
It's not to say that I should not have posted my thoughts and desires online. I honestly thought the internet was a safe place for me to confide the things I dare not say in real life (big spoiler: I was wrong). But dude, just reading all I posted I realized a few things:
1. I was a stalker
2. I had a victim mindset
3. I had poor self awarenesses
4. I was struggling with mental health and had no one to confide in, which led to a lot of poor choices.
At this point, I can hardly remember my childhood or teenage years because my main way to cope is to disassociate and to block out memories.
Although the past posts have been cringey as duck, I don't plan on deleting them because it keeps me grounded and helps me picture myself as this scrawley teen trying to figure out life.
I'll continue to post random thoughts here if anyone is still reading this 😌 hope all is well in your world.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Life update:
- currently a CF-SLP (yay me!)
- really fat
- in a very healthy and loving ldr
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